


Weight of the World

by Jean_does_not_have_a_horseface



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, F/M, Levis is suffering, Onesided Love, Pain, Umreqioted love, eren is dead, older levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 13:11:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 825
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380869
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jean_does_not_have_a_horseface/pseuds/Jean_does_not_have_a_horseface
Summary: Such thoughts are always in his mind, as it never seems to get rid of her. The walk he's taking in the corridors has been long, his candle is at the point of extinction, but he doesn't care. He doesn't even know why he's doing this to himself; walking up and down the corridors of the abandoned headquarters, so he can watch over her. To listen to her voice.





	Weight of the World

**Author's Note:**

> This story is also posted on my Tumblr account.
> 
>  
> 
> I want to say I don't actually ship Levi and Mikasa, but I really felt the urge to write this story and I have no idea why.

Levi can't remember the exact day he realised he was in love with Mikasa. Seriously, he has no idea what is worse; this or the fact that he let himself experience and go through all this process.

Up to now he had never even though about settling down and having a family, but everytime he sees her face he can only think about how many children he'd like to have. 

Everytime he closes his eyes she's there. And she doesn't whip over that fucking mindless brat who had lived a cursed life. No. She's there for and with him, standing in the sand, in the very place the ocean water hits her pale feet, over and over again with rage because the wind is so strong. It took a while for him to realise which way the wind had to blow for the waves to vanish or to appear. Nonetheless, if one could consider her a magnificent beauty, when his eyes were closed, she looked like a goddess.

 

But just like Eren was cursed to die, so is Levi cursed to stay alive and suffer. He can't remember a time when he didn't suffer amd he definitely can't remember ever suffering from the stupid void feeling other shitty human beings like to call love. Never has he ever believed one of these disgusting lies people said to fool themselves with. For him love is pure and golden and now that he's had the chance to feel it, he can say he's blessed.

But it's either cursed or blessed. And although he can really understand why all the people are trying to fool their own selves, he has absolutely no idea what to do or say about himself. There is something sweet in the bitterness of knowing he is never going to receive the love he wants from Mikasa, amd it feels truly beautiful to have fallen for a rough diamond, like her but it's also truly painful to watch as his hands are filled with mud and bleeding cuts, while he's desperately seeking for her love.

 

It feels even worse that all she can think about is Eren. Levi is damn aware that if she could, she'd literally be with him in the afterlife -if this shit existed- to watch over him. She is obsessed with the suicidal brat, to the point it didn't matter if he is dead or alive. She has driven her self to a point of no returning with all this, but all Levi cares about is that Eren's mere thought of existence, and the lack of it included, has scarred her, bruised her heart and darkened her soul.

 

Such thoughts are always in his mind, as it never seems to get rid of her. The walk he's taking in the corridors has been long, his candle is at the point of extinction, but he doesn't care. He doesn't even know why he's doing this to himself; walking up and down the corridors of the abandoned headquarters, so he can watch over her. To listen to her voice.

 

There is no doubt that Mikasa would never want to have his kids. She wouldn't enjoy seeing so many black haired heads and probably she'd wish some of them would resemble her one and only Eren. And with their genes, this would never happen. Even if these kids would look so handsome that mother nature would bow before them, Levi was sure that she'd never consider any one of them worthy to be her kid. Levi thinks she could always try to fool herself too. His hair isn't as black as hers, it has a light brown side to its blackness, when hers is completely black and his eyes are both blue and grey all the while hers are so dark, that no one could possibly tell the actual color. They could easily make children that looked like they were pure Ackerman blooded, but Levi's dreaming like a crazied teenager. And he's way too old to be thinking like a teenager.

 

Nevertheless, he stands alone, in the dark hallway, hearing the muffled sobs that come out of her mouth. His heart is throbbing for her. That once strong woman, who he had spent nights thinking about ever since her cadet days, now being eaten by her own demons.

 

And he knows that he can bear thousand knives planted on his body, bloody hands that his brain can't even control anymore and a strong amount of dirty mud covering his body, only if she is to say she's going to love him back. Not because he wants her to suffer like he is now, but because if he can take the weight of the world in his shoulders, he can take all her pain away and learn to live with it for her to be alright. For her to lock her plump lips with his and just say those precious words.

_I love you_


End file.
